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Showing posts from August, 2019

The World In Which We Live: Praetorian Edition

Serial child rapist and all around weird guy has died while in custody. Alleged cause of death is suicide by hanging, but needless to say, not everyone is buying it. And by "not everyone," I mean a great many people, some famous and well-respected in their fields, who preface their opinions with "I'm not a conspiracy theorist but...". Go to Twitter in you need further evidence.

The question of how did a man on suicide watch (with one failed attempt under his belt) successfully commit suicide in one of the most secure holding units in America?

As has happened so many times throughout history, the parties responsible for protecting were off duty or stood down. I call this the Praetorian Pattern.

The Praetorian Guard was a unit responsible for guarding the Roman emperor. Formed by Augustus to act as personal protection, the unit lasted for three centuries, during which time it developed a pattern of intrigue and interference with Roman politics, capable of underm…

Quote Of The Day, Hicks Edition

Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. - Bill Hicks

The World In Which We Live: Fun And Easy To Win Edition

I had hoped that by summer's end there would be no more trade war posts to write but there appears to be no end to the ongoing struggle. Fears of a recession are increasing, so much so that
Bank Of America is offering advice on how to navigate the impending slow down, the price of everything continues to march upwards, retailers are failing in droves, and even a Republican lawmaker is calling for a tax cut due to tariffs. This last point should prove once again that a tariff is a tax passed on to consumers, but try to explain that to the true believers who support the fun and easy to win economic policies of the current administration.

At least things aren't boring. The market reaction to the Fed's announced rate cut (which flies in the face of all logic) followed almost immediately by a tweet announcing more tariffs on Chinese products sent the VIX off the charts and VIX traders into a rapture or rupture, depending on which side of the trade they were on.

And yet, somehow…

Song Translation: Copperhead Road

The language of the American south is a rich and varied thing, rooted in English but infused with bits and pieces of Native, European, and African languages. Then there's Redneck, the official language of country music. Today, I'll attempt to translate an outlaw country song for those less fluent in the language than a native southerner such as myself.

The subject of today's translation will be Copperhead Road by the great Steve Earle. Released in 1986, it was and remains Earle's highest-selling single. Lyrically, it tells the story of a young Appalachian man making his way in the world. The song lyrics will be italicized, the translation in plain script. Let's begin:

Well my name's John Lee Pettimore
Same as my daddy and his daddy before


Allow me to introduce myself. I'm John Lee Pettimore III.

You hardly ever saw Grandaddy down here
He only come to town about twice a year


My grandfather was not one for travelling, although he occasionally made an appearance in …