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The World In Which We Live: Praetorian Edition


Serial child rapist and all around weird guy has died while in custody. Alleged cause of death is suicide by hanging, but needless to say, not everyone is buying it. And by "not everyone," I mean a great many people, some famous and well-respected in their fields, who preface their opinions with "I'm not a conspiracy theorist but...". Go to Twitter in you need further evidence.

The question of how did a man on suicide watch (with one failed attempt under his belt) successfully commit suicide in one of the most secure holding units in America?

As has happened so many times throughout history, the parties responsible for protecting were off duty or stood down. I call this the Praetorian Pattern.

The Praetorian Guard was a unit responsible for guarding the Roman emperor. Formed by Augustus to act as personal protection, the unit lasted for three centuries, during which time it developed a pattern of intrigue and interference with Roman politics, capable of undermining or advancing the emperor's plans. Knowing this, I define the Praetorian Pattern as any event in which a functionary of the security apparatus intentionally fails at his task, individually or by order, resulting in the downfall of the guarded.

A few examples of Praetorian Pattern in action included:


These are just a few examples in which the guardians were absent or turning a blind eye at a crucial moment. There are many more examples and this writer would advise a cursory glance through distant or recent history for more (Pablo Escobar? Jesus Christ? Think big and small, good and bad guys).

Ok, you say, but what does this have to do with Epstein? Good question, and herein lies the pattern:

  • Epstein was held at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York. Administered by the Federal Bureau of Prisons, the MCC is a highly secure facility, and Epstein was in a secure holding unit, denied bail due to flight risk. This is the same facility that held El Chapo. Isolated, Epstein wasn't going anywhere.
  • In late July, he attempted suicide or was assaulted by another inmate. Most agree it was a suicide attempt and he was placed on suicide watch after returning to his cell.
And then things get murky:

None of this is to lay blame or charges of murder; there were numerous theories floating around within hours of the announcement of his death. The points above, however, are my attempt to point out a pattern of behavior that seems to repeat again and again. 

Maybe Philip K Dick was right and the empire never ended. Perhaps we have neo-Praetorians exerting their personal influence on the empire. But fear not, I'm sure the son of the man who gave a young Epstein a job teaching at an elite Manhattan school despite of his lack of degree, credentials, or experience will get to the bottom of this.  

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